RED NOSE DAY
Taff (better half) said, when I first met him, that I should temper my kindness with wisdom. Obviously, I listened, and considered, and paid heed to what he said. However, there are some instances, particularly in the last year, where I have a need to do a particular kind act, because I can, and I believe it will make a positive difference, to one or a number of people.
So I thought it was about time I did something for Red Nose Day, as I believe it to be a really good cause. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years. I even remember the first one, all those years ago in 1985. Back then I lived in a bubble, didn’t have a social network of friends, and disliked asking money from people who either couldn’t afford it or would not get something in return. Now in 2013 nothing much has changed, other than the fact that I have Taff, and think outside the box. So this was the year, 2013 to do something for Red Nose Day.
OK, so I didn’t do a feasibility study, which I normal do. But with all the enthused tweets of people talking about Red Nose Day, I thought I’d join in… albeit just 2 weeks ago when we first got on twitter.
Plan A
First of all I decided to think small. I’d approach a couple of local supermarkets to see if I could perhaps help people with their packing on Red Nose Day, like the Brownies and Scouts do, in the hope that they may make a donation… of course dress up as a Red Nose of some sort (even if it was just a red T-shirt and leggings, wearing a dinosaur red nose with toes!). I enquired with one supermarket who explained that they did not do Red Nose Day, they did Children in Need. Yet they were helpful and guided me to the other supermarket that did. Enthused I discussed plan with customer services at 2nd said supermarket, and was told that I would have to put a report in writing, and submit it to someone who only worked one day a week (their Charity Champion)! Though I also go the impression that said supermarket did their own thing internally, and would not really accept an outsider to drench on their bonfire!
Plan B
So, I decided to e-mail a local radio station ‘The Breeze’. A very nice man replied to my e-mail to say that, as they were a commercial radio station, they did not get involved with Red Nose Day per sé, but would gladly promote my event if required. They therefore directed me to said major radio station that supports the said event.
Now feeling more positive, as I had not been rejected by ‘The Breeze’ I e-mailed said station. I had bigger plans than the supermarket planning by now as I was more confident and was thinking outside the box, as small hadn’t worked originally, so I thought in for a penny in for a pound.
Plan C
Realising I had many skills, I offered my services to said 2nd radio station. I could do admin, organising, answer the phones (as one of my past lives involved working in a call centre), I could shuffle my feet in a dancing fashion, I was confident, I could sing (though not with vibrato but more or less in tune) and could also play the kazoo, I could bake, even tell PC jokes, and compile poems. There was no end to my offerings. I even suggested maybe I be a singogram (like a stripagram but fully clothed, no kissing or tongues) for marriage proposals for the not so confident, as I thought a donation of £25 a pop (usually a couple of hundred quid for stripping and tongues), with 4 in the day, could raise £100, and provide an interesting memorable experience for cupid’s couple. However, said radio station didn’t even reply to proposal.
Outfit
All was not lost. I am a stubborn mule. I decided to make my costume. At least I could rely on myself, and my felt artistry skills. 10 hours throughout Saturday, I succeeded, and I thought it looked good. It fitted, it looked like said dinosaur with toes (though the feet on mine look like mermaid flippers). Aha, I had a costume. More positivity!
Plan D
The next day (Sunday), I went to local major touristy shopping centre to do a feasibility study, and seek permission to become a Red Nose Tour Guide. In that I would include some serious history, interesting facts, a couple of PC jokes (including Wonky Donkey adjusted), and free poem about said City. Nancy and Taff would be involved also (pictures stuck to cardboard and laminated, possibly Taff with moving mouth), with burping fluffy red nose with toes to add the sound effects. So, I went into the information office and was given the contact name of said person who would be able to say yeh or nay to proposal.
E-mailed said person that day, detailing proposal.
Plan E
In the meantime I had plans to do some cakes Tuesday for Wednesday’s carbooty (only £5 to do a stall, cake stalls quite common), to offer for a donation with a free poem or two. Maybe a joke or even a hug (fully clothed no tongues!). However, discovered that carbooty no longer exists.
All was not lost, I still had the possibility of being a Tour Guide.
Back to Plan D
Wednesday came. Chased up said person at said shopping centre by phone, and had to e-mail with urgent flag. Had immediate response! It was a No, as other charity was being supported in 2013 by said shopping centre, and that by the by they normally required 4 weeks notice. I thanked said person for considering and went on my way.
Plan F
OK, so it’s Thursday now. After a hectic day working as usual, building empire, I went to supermarket to get some cake ingredients to make crispy cakes, and chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing and Rowntrees Red Ones to plop on top (as couldn’t get or find red noses). Plan, to sell (well actually ask for donations) cakes on street, maybe between railway station and said shopping centre, with high footfall (I think that’s the phrase i.e. lots of people) or town centre.
Plan G
Still Thursday (tomorrow is Red Nose Day i.e. Friday). I know, go back to said supermarket, different town (more local) to offer my Red Nose Services, now not bothered what I do. Even just smile, and pretend to be a Red Nose.
Alas, the person I needed to speak to wasn’t there, and would not be at work until tomorrow.
Customer services were very nice and explained that even if they wanted to raise money on the street they would require a license, as I would. ‘Plan F’ now gone to pot.
Plan H
Thought about having a coffee morning at home tomorrow for all neighbours, sending flyers tonight, and offering coffee/tea and cake. But then we go back to the issue of ‘neighbour-friends are elderly and don’t have money rather need money’. And whenever any come round, they always go home with some sort of cake or dinner, for free, as we’re a Welsh household and it’s tradition.
Plan I
Thought of doing a cake creation (e.g. Christmas Croquembouche) but with cupcakes from floor to ceiling. But then there is the practicality of who to auction to, and next question of how to transport the beast. So, unlikely to achieve plan I.
Plan J
Given up now. Have realised over past 4 decades that as Cmdr Chris Hadfield on Dragon said, life doesn’t always go the way you want it to. He’s right, it is what it is.
Plan K
Anyone want a red nose outfit, with person or not. If not, fits human of medium/large size? Located… East Hampshire on South Coast!
Here’s wishing everyone else a Good Red Nose Day for a very good cause(s).
Will try again next year, and do proper feasibility study, and give 365 days advance notice to whoever!
Yours disappointingly & sorry for letting you all down.
PamJ
PS Should have donated money spent on costume to Red Nose Day instead. We live and learn!
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